Embracing our Doubts, Fears, and Anxieties for Lent? (3/4/12 - 3/24/12)

This week begins the third week in the season of Lent. Even around the time of the early church the Orthodox tradition has called it Great Lent. Lent is roughly a 40 day church season in which Christians prepare for the death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Maundy Thursday – which leads Christians and the Church to reflect on the mystery and fulfillment of Christ’ incarnation, that is, his death and resurrection. This three day time period is called the Triduum, and comprises Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday.

For many Christians throughout the ages (including Nicky and I) this period in the life of the church was and is the most important time of the year. For it is in this time that the church has us contemplate our mortality, self-examine our sins and consciousness, enter into the darkness of sin through our baptism, and rise with Christ victorious over sin and death. It is here where Christ conquerors death itself by the Descensus Christi ad Inferos "descent of Christ into hell" or the Harrowing of Hell. It is here where we Christians begin our baptized life. While many Christians (including my extended family, grandparents, and parents) have believed baptism to be a deep conviction of our religious commitment to Jesus, Paul says that we:

…have been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. When He had disarmed the rulers and authorities, He made a public display of them, having triumphed over them through Him. (Colossians 2:12-15)

Notice the verbs that Paul uses while speaking of baptism and the cross of Christ: “buried” “raised up” (2x), “dead” “forgiven us” “canceled” “disarmed” “triumphed.” This focus on verbs signifies that Paul is characteristically concerned with the actions of God—the concrete, specific action of God—and not God’s character, nature, being, or attributes, except as those are evidenced in concrete actions. This focus on verbs commits us in profound ways to Jesus Christ, to live a baptized life while never forgetting that it is Jesus who is said to have done these deeds. Remember that just like the death and resurrection of Jesus enabled the church to live, and move, and have its being, so too does our baptism begin this life in the church, God’s redeemed humanity.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of my family’s unpolished and indescribable language existed a life of deep religious commitment and fervor, a seemingly unshakable bastion of firm convictions, free from doubt, fear, and anxiety. However I personally sometimes feel that this baptized life (that we have been forcibly submerged into and raised as new creations out of death and into a life with God) does not define me. I read my grandparents bibles, hear stories from family and only occasionally hear the “stuff” we like to push under the rug. I know I sometimes personally doubt, have fears, and am intensely anxious about those promises of God offered to me. Sometime I ask “are they really true?” An open space where I can be affirmed in my questions is during Lent  The Lenten practices of contemplating our mortality and self-examination seen in this light should not then be understood as part of an external, pharisaical system of legalities, rigid systems and do’s and don’ts,  but an open space of deep introspection. “Religion” then is a given grace for God’s glory, so we can battle our suspicions and doubts and dwell in the waters of baptism. An interesting article related to this idea is called Atheism for Lent by Merold Westphal, and you can find it here.

Maybe I will write notes of doubts and despairs in the margins of my bible so one day my grandchildren can sympathize with my faith story. My parents have been excellent in showing me a full and robust faith, free from sentimentalism. Often this is all one can ask for. 

F.Y.I

To understand why sentimentality is so bad for Christian faith, here is a video where Stanley Hauerwas, Christian, Texan, and Professor of Theological Ethics at Duke University, explains it:

Sentimentality from The Work Of The People on Vimeo.

Rev. Homer Baker (2/26/12 - 3/3/12)

Last week Saturday Nicky and I were preparing for our evening prayers combined with our various readings for Lent this year. I got into bed and reached for our commonly used bible which was not there. I grumbled about it not being there and stood up, walked into our bedroom closet (which also doubles as an auxiliary library) and search our shelf of bible translations. Don’t ask, we have many! I noticed that behind them there was another bible, older looking, and very King James looking. I fished for it behind the already full shelf and turned on another light. I noticed it was a Scofield Reference Bible. The black leather was somewhat faded and tattered. I opened it up to the (prepare for technical book term) front free page and there before me was the following image:

I turned around, emerged from the closet/auxiliary library, and shouted to Nicky, “Nicky! It’s Homer’s bible!” I immediately called my mother who seemed to be relieved that she was not going crazy because it, in fact, was not at her house. In fact, the whole yearly project began when I opened a bible I believed to be my grandpas. The silhouette of this man looked similar to my own. My profession, education, and training similar to his, my vocation exactly like his, my looks strangely similar to him. At family reunions and with friends I constantly hear, “you should be a pastor.” Let’s just say that sometimes I feel like I was made for his shoes and decided to walk barefoot.       

His bible fits the description of a pastor during his time. His notes for example lack the personal stories and journal-like reflections grandma Leona’s does. He included dates of confession, salvation, and baptism for family, parishioners, and friends:

What was very striking was the absence of New Testament notes from Leona's bible, but the overabundance of New Testament notes from Homer's. Both of them wrote extensive notes on and in the Psalms:

Romans

Psalms

This is a random page from the Old Testament book of Ezekiel. Notice how pristine the pages are!

I have two thoughts regarding this and I would love some input on them. I received my education in Old Testament Studies. My study of the Old Testament (OT) was rather extensive. My bible is covered with OT notes, and my New Testament (NT) is rather absent of notes. If you were to do a similar blog with my college and seminary bible you would probably say that I read the OT far more than the NT. Or you would say that I had many OT classes, that for some reason I read it and studied it far more than the NT. You would be correct in making these connections. I think Homer's vocation as a pastor demanded he studied the NT. For Homer, his church(es), and the church universal, the NT contains the promises of God fulfilled in the Gospel, that is, the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Paul in I Corinthians 15:1-3 defines the Gospel this way:

"Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures"

Homer was rightly passionate about this portion of the bible. So why is Leona's OT filled with notes? I studied the OT to the point of obsession. Mainly because the church I grew up in almost never spoke about it unless it was to chastise someone in the OT for bad morals, or uphold someone for good morals. The OT in most churches has been reduced to bad moral lessons. In India, Nicky taught some NT courses. Frankly she probably knows more about the NT than I do. So the issue with Homer and Leona I think was one of marriage, of balancing out one another.

For the Psalms, I wonder if Homer and Leona both read the same similarly? Throughout the ages, The Psalms have been there to give expression to all of our emotions: our fears, doubts, anxieties, joys, sadness, loneliness, praises, etc. The Psalms can provide the bulwark to life's highest mountain peaks and lowest valleys. Originally the psalms were man's words to God. Now the Psalms are God's words to man. Homer and Leona both knew this and cherished them in their hearts and on their lips.    

Homer's bible is a great find indeed! And I repeat what the Psalmists says:

"Give thanks to Yahweh, for he is good, his steadfast loyal love endures forever!"